Relationship is a state of connectedness or a state of mutual dealings. We are made to relate and not to isolate. I have always been of an opinion relationship is not a tool to destroy but an instrument for mutual growth. It is not to kill but to heal. I believe relationship is to groom, build, nurture and add positive values to you. The foundation of any relationship should be trust. Every other thing must find its root in trust. Relationship begins to experience threat whenever trust is absent.
What you need to be in when you are in a relationship
- Be a giver
Relationship is a mutual benefit and not a one way affair; it must be the two of you bringing to the common table. The act of giving helps in nurturing and developing the right relationship. Some people are like cankerworms that drain out life out of people, they are always collecting and not contributing taking advantage of people. You should not forget that what you are looking for is a helper not someone you want to suck life out of. I said earlier that you must be prepared for it in order to have something tangible to contribute into the relationship.
As a student you also must be studious, so that your relationship will be about sharing knowledge, by that you will grow together.
As a career man/woman, you must be ready to contribute your own quota for the relationship to grow.
- Make a commitment to developing yourself
Always strive to be an assest, don’t be a liability. Relationship is enjoyable when you mean alot to your partner and not a thorn in his/her flesh.
Signals to look out for when you are drained in a relationship
- He/ she is not committed to nurture and develop the relationship
There is a saying that “your mind will always be where your treasure is”, this is a statement of fact. I always hear some saying it is because of my busy schedule at work that is why I haven’t be able to call you since last month, uh, what an unserious folk. Imagine how unserious people will see you, when you have a very serious project at hand that you are in the process of executing, but you haven’t visited the project or make attempt to find out how that project is going for weeks. It is high level of unseriousness and lack of commitment when your partner is not putting the required effort to make the relation grow and flourish
- He/she always want to take advantage
I call this set of people robber, they are looking for the slightest opportunity to suck you dry. They are not contributing nor have any valuable effort to make the relationship work out well. They are always demanding and the bad thing about them is no matter what you do they are never satisfied. When you see such please run for your dear life, do not be beclouded by your emotion. Relationship is about mutual benefit i.e. you and I giving for our mutual benefit.
Why will someone take advantage of me if he/she is not a thief?
- They temporarily appear real
This is a bait used by most people to capture undiscerning mind, they appear real at the surface like the example I gave at the beginning of this article. So be sure within yourself whether he/she is for a long time or just to waste your precious time. You will also notice the rate at which they drop in the good deeds they used to do. Their good deeds are just for a moment to get what they are looking for. A true friend always appreciates in values and in good deeds, day in day out he/ she is coming with surprises that amazes you. Not the ones that within two or three month you start having sleepless night about because they are no longer who they used to be.
- They don’t care about your future, emotion and state of wellbeing
I always appreciate friends that have great concern about my life and future and always doing their best to be part of my story. These are true friends. I cannot be with a man/woman that cares less about my life, thinking if I perish I perish or who doesn’t give a damn about me. When you sense that the person in question doesn’t care about your life, future, emotion and your state of wellbeing know that you are in a wrong relationship.