Topic: Danger of Past Relationship
Until a man agrees his sick then solution is far from him. The matters of the heart kills more in our age than terrible sicknesses we know today. A heart that is sick is difficult to know because it can still frame smiles on the face; it can continue with daily activities etc until we hear suicide or something terrible then we began to ask questions. How much tears have poured out of my face because I was hurt. You might ask what will it takes my lover to love me back?. Only God can tell the hurt feeling and emotions have caused in humanity. Well that’s a question these posts want to answer. You we need more than bold face and shutting down all approaches not to make mistakes again. You make more mistakes when you are too conscious of making mistakes. Infact when you will make mistake you wouldn’t know. Am sure you have asked why people kept making mistakes in relationship? A sister with 5th guy in relationship and this one even she is not satisfy. I was once told by a sister that she will just marry anyone when its time because all hope of getting a guy that is sincere is lost. Well all kinds of ideology is on the earth right now about male world eg Males are natural cheater, they can never be truthful and sincere etc well am a male and have seen males with beautiful relationships and marriages.
Emotion: What a beautiful tool in relationship and how deadly it can be to be neglected and put in the corner of the heart as if it didn’t exist. Any of us can make a presumption of our feelings about a matter because we felt we are more stronger but I warn you not the matter of the heart should you pose a presumptive attitude to because you might be highly wrong. Broken relationship doesn’t break the physical connection alone but also create a hole. The depth of that hole can only be measure by the authenticity of your love to the other party. And you think a cry of one night will fill up this hole?
You are liable to make a huge mistake in your new relationship because that hole will create a hidden hunger for an emotional satisfaction which probably you will definitely want to defend. And your fall will be greater than the first when you meet a girl or a guy who understood the effect of broken relationship by showing cares and humility to blindfold and lure you in another disastrous relationship. That is when you will know the feelings of your first relationship is still there looking for who to fill it. That hunger is what you must destroy before it destroys you.
You must be careful of limited portion of emotion given you or else you will ware it out. If you keep having broken relationship consuming your emotion and feeling when the real relationship comes you will be forcing yourself to secrete feeling and emotion, which will make you frustrated and start to question your love. You will agree with me the way you have feelings for each relationship is quite different and to some is their first relationship that has consumed their main portion of emotion and feeling. Since then you have been struggling to get to such a heighten emotional relationship and ofcourse this emotion has a lot to do in every relationship.
- It determines your attitudes: You will agree with me your attitude towards the first time you get to the heighten level of emotion and feeling in a relationship is different. The girl or the guy that experiences that relationship with you will enjoy it more than anyone. You give your best; more reliable I mean you are just everything. Because your emotion is attached.
- It determines your sacrifices: Your sacrifices to such a relationship will be crystal clear even to the devil that you love the other party. Because what you can’t do on a natural level you will do, crazy things etc your sacrifice is just on the high side.
- It determines commitment: Your commitment to such a relationship can be felt; your sincerity cannot be doubted. You tend to be more focus. I told a girl that did she notice she gave her ex a confidence of her love than the current guy? I asked her this question because her current relationship is touring apart. Commitment can be perceived it carries a vote of confidence to your partner. She told me what else will she do, that she is doing all. I said no, she is doing nothing because her heart is not committed to the relationship. Commitment is not doing it; it is paying attention to it. You can be buying ice cream and cooking for each other and yet heart is not connected. It just a matter of time for such a relationship to break. In commitment lays a future for your relationship.
- It determines your faithfulness: You might ask how come faithfulness and emotion cross line? Am telling you whatever you are faithful to will carry you feeling but when your feelings is not attached it just a matter of time before you break the rules or the vows.
You will agree with me all this are high determinant of a successful relationship and if our emotion carries all these along calculate how much time left for your relationship to shipwreck if you don’t get your emotion balance.
Self esteem: This isn’t to yourself but your value for relationship began to drop since your first experience. You know how you valued it then it was like gold you wanted it but at the bad experience you change your values for relationship. Come to think of it if the value of a good drops what drops along with it? Price. Yes the price drop. When you alter the values you alter the price without knowing. No one pays a heavy price for devalued goods. Am sure you can see your sudden change to relationship. What contribute to values of a good are:
- Purpose: Dr myles said when purpose is not known abuse is inevitable. I tell you people don’t know what they want sometimes until they see the purpose of it then can they appreciate it. When you lose the purpose of a thing the value can’t be seen. The purpose of relationship must be well defined. Why are we into relationship? Ask this question from your partner. Most relationships are undefined these days because they enter unconsciously, like friends and then the whole thing started and yet expecting things to happen. True lovers are natural friends not all friends are lovers. Please don’t mistake friendship to love at all neither should you use such a channel to enter relationship. Ask those who through friendship enters relationship let them tell you the foundation laid and compare it with yours, you will know why their own isn’t just friendship alone. Purpose defined the end product of a thing. So there is end product, a target etc Does friendship has such a definition? It’s a question. Many of this relationship talks is causing more danger to youth lives because they don’t even check definition of words before using it. What a congealing state relationship has been put to, what ought to flow easily like waters and breeze of the sea shore became rigid due to porous knowledge? It time for kingdom teachings on earth. No serious thing happens by mistake there is a consciousness of it. Don’t dance to the tones of a song you don’t know the lyrics it might be abusing you.
- Scarcity: Yes you remember demand and supply in economics? When there is scarcity expect a high blood sucking price. Scarcity of a thing plays a major role of its importance, if it’s nothing it should be common. To find a healthy marriage these days is a gold hidden beneath the ground but yet its scarcity does not negate it availability. It only takes those who really need it to get it. You will value your partner if you realize that he or she is gold.
- Price: What you don’t pay a high price for is use anyhow. It comes cheap you use cheap. Put a prize on yourself. To the female world you need a correct version of what prize is. Prize is not making yourself difficult to access in relationship it is what impact they meet after approaching you. Huh what guys fear most is a girl who can stand there words. Even me I fear such a girl because that’s a girl that operates at the level of intelligence. And ofcourse guys today are dummy. I pray to teach on Prize of a relationship. When you give a correct prize what drives the relationship is no more feeling but rather the need. Am sure there are things in your life you don’t fight not because you like but it’s a daily need in your life. Fire is killing humans does that make us stop the use?
Trust: Lastly is trust that is truncated. Broken relationship destroys your trust ability. The way you tends to trust in your first relationship gradually changes as you face heart break. You begin to struggle in the face of reality. It like you can’t just trust anyone again. Something has been altered in you and that thing is:
Your believe system: Huh relationship is highly a thing to be careful of, as invisible as it is so is the destructive power in it. It leaves your life with permanent mark. A sign that you are visited. I easily know those who have been into relationship that hurt them. It conveys there believe system and their responses to life issues. Always hanging on a side of a matter they don’t look around to reason out but stay in a corner of issues and begins their argument. That’s one of the effects of broken relationship. My question is will are you ready to come out of that hole and reshape yourself for another impact or stay in the shadows of darkness and hurt and be bruised by past memories that will injure your current relationship?. IT IS YOUR CHOICE. Please share with friends on facebook and whatApp you know not who will be in need and also try to read Preparing for relationship