You don’t have to be perfect as a parent to raise a well-adjusted kid. You just had to be a “good-enough parents”. Overprotecting and under protecting your child isn’t healthy. Overprotecting is when you lavish too much affection on them and this may lead them to be indecisive, afraid of making a mistake, unable to trust their instincts and stick to their choices. This kind of parents will intervene when their children are being bullied at school and will get them tutors when they show interest in learning some skills(but let them quit when they lost that interest), and talked through their feelings when they broke the rules, instead of punishing them. We should not forget that the underlying goal of good parenting is to raise children who will grow into productive, happy adults.
According to Paul Bohn ” Bohn believes many parents will do anything to avoid having their kids experience even mild discomfort, anxiety, or disappointment—“anything less than pleasant,” with the result that when, as adults, they experience the normal frustrations of life, they think something must be terribly wrong.”
There are some acts parents engage in that prevent their kids from feeling secure. There are some momentary discomforts kids pass through, like when they fall down, that we need to allow them to have that momentary feeling before we comfort them. Failure to do so will make them have no idea what discomfort feels like and will have no framework for how to recover when they feel discomfort later in life. According to Dan Kindlon “If kids can’t experience painful feelings, they won’t develop psychological immunity.”
Overprotecting may lead to kids not learning how to tolerate other kids and also they are fragile because they break down anytime things don’t go their way. Some of the reasons why some parents overprotect their children are just to fill the emotional holes in their own lives, and this may hinder these children from getting necessary freedom in life.
We always get ourselves into a problem when we over do things or under do it, but being moderate will always place us on a right track to achieve our set goal. Every parent wants their children to be happy, productive and do well in life, but we should not get ourselves into a ditch by overprotecting our children. I know some of us want our children to have a better upbringing but we must always note that a good act excessively done will not yield the desired result.
Give your children chance to have some touch with life and reality and this will make them develop winning strategies and also develop psychological immunity.
1. Doing for children what they can do for themselves
2. Doing for children what they can almost do for themselves
3. Making parenting decisions based on your own ego.
Helicopter parenting isn’t a good way of parenting, although, it might be seen as a way of showing care, it does more harm than good.